Tales from the CEIP (Chapter 1)

***My apologies for the formatting in this entry. I can't get the program to work with me. I tried the HTML and the regular compose screens. I give up. The system wins.


I work in an elementary school with kids as young as four. There are few moments of silence; someone always has something to share or a burning question to ask. For example:

1. In one of the 6th grade classes a student came up to me and asked,
    - ¿Cómo se dice, 'Ay, Dios mio' en inglés?
    - Oh my God!
    - That's British English, right? You're British? (She asked in Spanish.)
    - No, I'm American.
      She gave me a look of 'just-agree-with-me-because-I-have-a-bet-with-my-friend-and-I-need-to-win.' But I refused to be British for her.
     -Well, how do you say it in British?
     - Oh my God!

2. In the same 6th grade class I heard two students talking to the teacher and her reply, "Well, go ask her." So they came over and asked (in Spanish):
     - Melissa, did you work at a language camp during the summer?
     - No....
     - Ok... (No further questions.)

3. In the four-year-old class there is one little girl who asks me every week (in Spanish):
     - What's your name?
     - Melissa
     - Why do you speak English?
     - (Answers vary)

4. I often get asked (in Spanish):
   -Do you speak Spanish?
    But most of the time they don't even bother. They just ask:
    -¿Cómo se dice _______ en inglés? (How do you say _________ in English?)

5. The first grade teacher went out of the room for a second and the first question a student asked:
     - Melissa, ¿tienes hijos?" (Melissa, do you have any kids?)
     This question was followed up by another students comment:
     - Melissa, we don't speak your language. We don't understand you when you speak to us.
     It was then that I thought to myself, "I've only said, 'NO', what don't they understand about 'NO'?"

But sometimes it's more their responses than their questions that are amusing:

1. I asked a four year old: What's your name?
    - Fati (short for 'Fatima')

2. The preschool teacher needed a volunteer, so she looked at a little girl and said, 'María, come here.' Two little girls got up. The second 'María' explained that she was María Angustia and the other little girl was Ana María. María Angustia insisted that she is the real María, it's just the other teacher always calls her Angustia.

3. A little boy in the third grade brought an American dollar bill to class. He showed it to me. I asked him who the man on the bill was.
    - Obama, he replied.
    - No, look at the name under the picture.
    - Washington, D.C.!
   
4. One of the most beloved songs amongst all grades is 'head, shoulders, knees and toes'.  It's one of the few songs I actually sang as a kid too. However, it may be a little confusing for the kids here because when I quizzed my third grade private lesson on what 'rodillas' were they answered 'knees-and'.

5. The teacher explained the science test to the first graders. They had to identify the parts of the face (eyes, ears, mouth nose, head, etc.) in several different ways, but almost all of which was coloring. One of the students exclaimed:
   - Seño, ¡qué guay es tu examen! (Teacher, your test is so cool!)

6. It was the end of November (Thanksgiving to be exact) and the first graders were going to do an art project having to do with DÍA INTERNACIONAL PARA LA ELIMINACIÓN DE LA VIOLENCIA CONTRA LA MUJER (International Stop Violence Against Women Day). The teacher explained that women are the same as men and they have all the same rights. One kid raised his hand and (in Kindergarden Cop style) explained that women are different from men because they have vaginas. (See, this stuff doesn't just happen in the movies.) 

And then there is just what I overhear:

1. A girl in the third grade explained to her classmate (in Spanish) that:
- It is a shame that Melissa can't speak Spanish. She can understand basic things like how old you are, but if I say that I'm going to Mercadona to buy tomatoes, she can't understand me.
- It is a shame because I need tomatoes. (Since I said this in English, she just stared at me.)

2. It was around 11:30- time for a snack. One of the second graders was inspecting the sandwich he had. He looked inside, closed it and then looked at his friend and said:
    -Mi madre es una diosa. (My mother is a goddess.)